You're Not Behind. You're Just Exhausted.

Can we agree social media is getting noisier by the day?

I've lost count of how many people are offering advice on how to get rich, get healthy, and find your purpose.

Even speaking to you now comes with a sprinkling of internal friction.

Am I just more noise, sapping your attention?

As a coach who specialises in working with people who are running on empty, I take that question seriously.

Because when you're fucked and your battery feels like it's hovering around 13 percent every day, every scrap of energy matters.

And we all know how easy it is to get lost in our phones when the real world feels too hard to deal with.

So being part of this messy dynamic can, at times, feel like it rubs up against my values as a coach.

But here I am, trying to talk to you.

And if you are running on empty, my hope is that I can give you something useful to think about as you navigate the onslaught of online noise in January.

Why January feels so loud

Let's dissect how many of us are thinking and feeling right now.

I'll have to generalise a little, because we're all different and wonderfully complicated humans.

But broadly speaking, a lot of us arrive in January exhausted.

We've worked really hard to make the most of the last year.

We've been busy.

We've been spinning all the plates.

And more often than not, we've been trying very hard to stay consistent at spinning all of them.

This is where that quiet sense of failure creeps in.

Because some of those plates have dropped.

Maybe it's your health, and you're starting to accept that your body is struggling to keep up with the demands of life.

Maybe you've drifted from friends or family and feel guilty for not reaching out, replying, or having the energy to show up.

And then there's work.

Perhaps you've taken on too much and are struggling to deliver.

Or maybe you're stuck in a job you hate, wishing you had the energy or motivation to chase a different path, or even work out what that path is.

So January lands.

In some ways, you feel accomplished.

In others, you feel behind.

The phone as a coping strategy

Here's the rub.

When we don't like how that feels, we reach for our phones.

Not to solve anything, but to distract ourselves from doing any real emotional lifting.

And the algorithm knows you.

Because you've given it everything it needs to keep you hooked.

On top of that, you're human.

You compare yourself to people who appear to be ahead of you, or living the aspirational identity you imagine for yourself.

January is peak season for this.

Creators and brands know exactly what internal struggles show up at this time of year, and they play on one simple idea to get your attention and convert it into a sale.

"New Year, New You."

For years, I've called this outside noise feeding our inside noise.

And inside noise often drowns out the internal voice we should be listening to. The one I call your inside view.

For clarity:

I think of good external input as the outside view.

That might come from a therapist, a good friend, a coach, or yes, even me right now.

The problem isn't external input.

It's too much of the wrong kind.

If you're running on empty

This is really for people who feel overwhelmed about where to start.

Or lost about how to approach a fresh set of goals when they're already running on fumes.

Here's the core point:

It's time to block out more outside noise.

Because right now, that noise is fuelling procrastination and self-doubt, not action.

And this is where you have to get honest with yourself.

If your inside view is telling you that you're lying in bed scrolling TikTok or Reels every night instead of resting, you need to do something about it.

And that something might need to be a nuclear option.

Think about it this way.

If you're someone who can't have an open packet of biscuits in the house because once 7pm hits they're gone, then you're someone who needs bright lines around habits, not blurred ones.

So you don't buy biscuits.

The same logic applies to social media.

Two practical rules

1. Deleting apps isn't enough. You'll just download them again. If I had to bet, you've already tried this more than once.

2. You need to ruthlessly curate who you follow. Follow what brings you joy. Remove what makes you feel like shit.

What's worked for me

Here's something genuinely practical, based on my own experience.

Download an app called Opal and pay for the subscription.

It lets you govern when and how long you can use certain apps.

For example, I allow myself ten minutes every 24 hours on Instagram.

If I don't use it, I wait another day.

It works across all my devices.

And the best part?

If I try to delete Opal so I can scroll, I can't.

That friction has been a game changer.

As for curating my feed, the rule is simple.

If something makes my internal noise louder, I mute, unfollow, or tell the app I don't want to see it.

Over time, my feed has shifted closer to people and things I actually love.

One final question for you

To build my business and reach you, I need to be on social media.

If I didn't, it would be deleted tomorrow and I'd happily live a more analogue life.

But that's me.

You're different.

So I'll leave you with this:

Do you really need to be on social media?

And if you do, do you need all the apps?

Do you need to be everywhere, all the time?

Just food for thought.

Remember this.

Don't let the outside noise of January convince you that you need to push harder or that you're behind in life.

Get your energy right first.

When you do, everything else becomes easier to navigate.

You stop feeling like you're failing and start feeling capable of carrying the plates you've chosen to hold.